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Vaudeville Villain
by Viktor Vaughn
ALBUM RANKINGS:
Ratings and rankings are based on all available critic reviews and awards.
Overall Rating:
3.4142
Avg. Critic Score:
3.6850
Vaudeville Villain Lyrics
Lyrics
Disc
Track
Title
- V. Vaughn, the traveling Vaudeville Villain
- Who don't give a flying fuck who ain't not feeling him
- Watch what ya' dealing him: ace, king, death card
- Strong-arm the wrong man, pardon the left, god
- Get money and earn it, then everything you touch turn shit
- Got much to learn kid, light it up burn shit
- Light it up like the Dutch when the hash melt
- Only time they see him is when they need him with the cash belt
- Ay carumba, now that's my number
- One dry summer, as far as I remember
- Burnt out, but gaining every edgy penny
- Then he hit him straight to the head like Reggie Denny
- Call him back when you need some more 'gnac, horse-yak
- Doing 80 down the Van Wyck on horseback
- Ya' man sick but he wreck tracks, puto
- Get back too bro', exactamundo
- Viktor the director flip a script like Rob Reiner
- The way a lotta dudes rhyme their name should be "knob shiner"
- For a buck, they'd likely dance the Jig or do the Hucklebuck
- To Vik it's no big deal, they're just a buncha knuckle-fucks
- You wonder how well would they hold up in a holding cell
- It sorta had the strange makings of a tale told in hell
- Like "Oh well," hold tall riches
- If the Feds is really after him they'll just tell all the snitches
- On borrowed-time rhymes, gassed by the silver screen
- They cat like their monkey ass can heal back like Wolverine
- Mellow out what y'all bellow out ya' yellow mouth
- What happened to the kinda spit that used to help a fellow out?
- No doubt, leave a rapper in a body cast
- And wonder what he was doing while we was in a karate class
- Snotty ass, it's really like he was a white-belt
- Right before he "night-night" ask him how the light felt
- I wouldn't take their tape if they gave it free
- Maybe it's me, maybe it's V!
- Throw down the key, y'all know how shit be
- In the naked city, rappers is so giddy
- That's no ditty, Vaughn so witty
- The way he take no prisoners and show no pity
- It's how son became a big man from a Black boy
- To name names, a really big fan of Dan Akroyd
- He feel they need to give him his own dance
- This his only chance to shoot the gift like a lone glance
- Or like a beef scene that leave the oo-ey smoking
- Or between Hoktuo Shinken and Nanto Koukakuken
- Confirmation of your worse fears
- Ever since his first years had a thirst for beers
- Back from the future, it'll make you more sober-er
- And brought back a long list of fakers who crossed over
- I'm like, fuck it, bubble-baller
- Catch ‘em up at Bob's show, stall him with a troubled caller
- Bastard, who could make G's faster
- Than a newly re-mastered while being truly plastered
- There's four sides to every story
- If these walls could talk, they'd probably still ignore me
- Contemplate war over a cup of warm coffee
- It's really getting gory, tell your problem to Maury
- Don't bore V with the "glory, hallelu-ey"
- Crews be like, foo-ey he's just a buncha hoo-ey
- I knew he had new G, who he? Viktor Vaughn
- He had a new sicker song, I think he call it "Lickupon"
- Umm but uh, he study rhymes and patter-ins
- Climb so steep sometimes the beat don't be mattering
- Sounded like a half-dead from (???Scurvy band rock???)
- A programmed, computer bio-grafted Herbie Hancock
- Maybe next life he'll try harder
- Died a martyr at the hands of the fire-starter
- More scripts ripped available for via barter
- Transport a stack to the lab via charter
- On the microphone he came to daze and amaze ya'
- What a guy, practice banging flies with razors
- And watch out for the robot, he got eyes with lasers
- Tell ‘em when they come with more topics besides blazers
- Enough with the guns already, they're all toys and lames
- The joy's in the aim, he asked him, how's ya' poison game?
- Do you bust your crossbow? Also, more so
- Accurate body blows to torso, thought so
- These flows you won't find in no "how-to"
- If the blacksmith doubt you, he smack the shit out you
- Make nothing gone, let nothing twitch
- Just don't be near the mic when the on-button switch
- V bring the beef like a trucker to Fuddrucker
- Delivery to all y'all motherfuckers and bloodsucker
- Coping more pleas than when a rap nigga bicker on
- And that's my word is bond, I think he call it "Lickupon"
- Umm, he wrote this one with a fever sick in bed
- With his dickhead inside a chickenhead
- No, a dead chicken's head, he said it help his nausea
- If he lost ya', wait ‘til he tell you about the flying saucer
- Dag, the kickback'll leave your wig ragged
- For a big bag of good grizzle and some Zig-Zag
- Survival, keep a rival in denial
- And bust what he got just for coming out his pie-hole
- Die calmer than a suicide-bomber
- V just the type to do a hoo-ride with momma
- Said to James Bond, my name is Viktor, Viktor Vaughn
- Told the chick the quickest way to get on, lickupon
- Somewhere's out in cop killin Queens
- The bo deans stop limousines and niggaz flee the scene
- Somebody on his back bleeding vest all cracked up
- Freeze clown officer down request back up
- Listen dude don't get me misconstrued as a sniper
- It's V Vaughn not to be confused with V la viper
- Or either peter parker
- Or either peter piper
- A seed the type to pee the diaper blame it on the wiper
- It's really not your concern why I got the knife sir
- You suggest remain calm let not get "No"
- Slash his windpipe he had them type of eyes
- He might be still alive
- How you get this thing to hyper drive
- Oh
- Give my props to the shooter
- Prices at a all time low in the future
- Something like fourteen they must be on horse pills
- O T and zero three to re up on force fields
- At that cost deal he plotted the coordinance
- Two thousand three rental tie upper west side more or less
- This thing be buggin like a celly frontin
- Now who the hell is honey wit the slug in her belly stuntin
- You ain't have to tell V nothing
- Trust him
- It really ain't no time for discussion
- He'll be back in ninty three press of a button and they busted in
- His first impulse was to smack the dirt
- All four wore plain clothes and lumberjack shirt
- Recognize one face from school six degrees ago
- He'd snuff him in his braces just to switch the station to BGO
- He kept a punch line every lunch break lunch time
- And this is no time to pump fake it's crunch time
- The same split second they let off the toast
- That's when he hit the speed dial and sped off ghost
- I know those cats don't like V
- And if they took my head off they'd get off most likely
- And probably thought the time gizmo was my wallet
- And hit the hills forty more times on some foul shit
- Pick a crime he was out in the nick of time
- To get paid another day and live to kick a sicker rhyme
- For illa it's like miller malt liquor time
- Up town finery were it's probably not best to flaunt
- Everyone's your best friend V steps into the restaurant
- My friend he said you must be psychic
- What's the price of fourteen
- It's real you like it
- Huh, be back at night the fourteen G pack was really packed tight
- But back at the lab he found that the sleaze stack was right
- Not only was it three cracks light between white
- The test show lactose, ambisol
- lecithin five types of aspirin and other kinds of medicines
- Next time I'll bring my men who speak Mexican
- And let the tech's spin
- Make 'em contact the next of kin
- The whole thing is mostly lactose
- lecithin and some type of aspirin, ambisol medicine
- Damn
- Lets go get 'em men
- [Viktor Vaughn]
- Mmm.. My cousin's friend's friend wanna meet me
- Saw V on TV, said she needed a sweety
- Heard he was the type to do her name in graffiti
- Greet her with a kiss *kiss*
- Straight gentlemen need steelie, a G
- Whatever is meant to be is meant to be
- She can slip a smile that make a nigga flip wild
- Herand bold name chain, diamond chip script style
- With the matching bracelet, sweats with the K-Swiss
- Athletic chick who run track
- Hey miss, pleasure's all mine
- Please call me Vik
- [Nikki]
- Okay, I did a full inspection
- Head to toe we rocked black denim
- Flashed the grin, sweetest sin
- Said to him: "Hey, my name is Nikki
- You twenty minutes late and almost missed me"
- Turned off my CD, I was bumpin' vintage Biggie
- Said: "I love the way you smile, but your eyes look tricky
- She spazzes out when I'm late, plus she says that I'm too young to date
- So overprotective, I wish she'd take a sedative and shit
- Yea, but that's whatever
- What's your perspective, tell me more about you Vik
- [Viktor Vaughn]
- It's love at first sight, that's the proof
- He wasn't out right to thirst, but in truth
- Fresh as a mayflower, face like power
- He had the green light, she asked him: "What's the plan tonight?"
- Flavor of the night, Sam Sara from Fahrenheit
- [Nikki]
- He talked, I listened, he listened I spoke
- We walked arm-in-arm and split a cherrycoke
- Spit religion and politics, Sega and chess
- Roots of culture, hip-hop, skunk and sess
- I caught him sneakin' peeks at my breasts
- While frontin', name droppin' connects
- [Viktor Vaughn]
- First started out like she was just Vaughn's friend
- Used to act grown for pretend, whispering
- Speaking on the phone, for hours on end
- On a bone from just listening and then:
- Call back and do the same thing tomorrow
- If something don't give, I'll be forced to ignore her
- Gettin' on my last nerves, forget it
- All this talk and shit and V ain't even hit it yet
- It's uncharacteristic of the Vik
- [Nikki]
- Hickies on my neck, the whole last night, I couldn't sleep
- Practice the words I used to greet you, the next time we meet
- Think of you and feel heat, that make my cheeks blush
- Close my eyes and feel your touch, get chills when you slip me tongue
- Picture me with you, could my fantasies of teen love come true?
- Got me wondering, how far I'll go to prove my moms and everybody wrong
- I miss you every time I hear a love song and whenever you're gone
- Until I see you, then I feel short of breath
- I think maybe I'm ready... to take the next step.. yes
- [Viktor Vaughn]
- I got your cab fare, dinner and a movie
- Bring a change of clothes, just in case it's all groovy
- Watch when I see you, I miss you a lot, yo
- How about a nightcap, maybe a bottle of Mo
- So V can bite your titties like a baby toddler, ho
- [Nikki]
- Oh no you didn't! You called me a what? Don't make me wig out
- How you gonna last some shit like that slip out your mouth (nah, I was just)
- If I was there, I'd smack you in your smirk (ooh), for acting like a jerk
- Thought you was cool, but now I doubt the shit is gonna work
- I'm not hurt, I'm pissed off, piss off, fuck this shit
- [Viktor Vaughn]
- I know I play too much
- Hey on the way, could you please pick up two Dutch
- Ok peace, see you when you touch
- I wondered if she ever had a coodycat eight-eight
- Vaughn can't wait to long-stroke it on the late-late
- [Nikki]
- Wait, first let's get this shit straight-straight
- Don't call me out my name, I'm not the one to get played-played
- Out... niggaz, go figure 'em out, they're all the same-same
- With a lame-lame story, like my ex-man Mike
- Got my best friend pregnant and he's still tryin' to call me
- Well fuck Mike and fuck Vik too
- I wound up on Prozac from all the shit he put me through
- Only been off my prescription three weeks
- And you got me flippin, rippin' my hair out
- Never thought you'd treat me like a pigeon
- I'm out, it's over, I'm gone
- So long.
- [Nikki & Vik]
- I'd rather masturbate, than fuck with Vik Vaughn
- I'd rather masturbate, than fuck with Vik Vaughn (let me watch!)
- I'd rather masturbate, than fuck with Vik Vaughn
- (Still... so...so...so what time you gonna be here?)
- (Aight? You know I'm gonna be waitin', just holla and ring the buzzer.3.)
- Great balls of fire
- Guess who just crawled out the mud the mire
- That could make you trust a motherfuckin liar
- A real shuck n' jiver
- Vaughn never been a duck n' diver
- He spit on the mic, yuck, saliva
- Hold it like a drunk driver hold a CB on a sharp turn
- Still clutchin' his chest from the heartburn
- What's your handle? I need a Zantac, ock
- and thanks before I blank into anyphylactic shock
- Rock the disco
- Chocolate on a crisco ho ?
- Cock diesel
- And still tell a joke like Joe Piscipo
- Tell em the basics
- Basically, break the Matrix
- And just for kicks, make em gel like Asics
- That's why they actin standoffish
- ? by hand like canned raw crawfish
- Can you please pass the cocktail sauce?
- You might as well know, hell is hot as hell boss
- Tell my horse
- He said broads call me Vaughny
- I make sure I throws em back if they's too scrawny
- Or boney, phoney MCs use a stand-in
- Leave him hangin like if I ain't know where his hands been
- Hussy, how bout we bloody up your ?
- Bust a knee
- Then go feeling studdy, or plus degree ?
- True victory, a new sick story
- I never met a chick that was too thick for me
- Holy moses, my old earth know me closest
- On how I played it back and stayed bent like scoliosis
- It's no puzzle
- You can ask Doc Zizmor
- The slow guzzle got your nizzle crooked like big jaw
- Drink like a fishy, she wish she was a Pisces
- Live since back in 25 cents Icees
- Used to turn your tongue the color red
- Now they want to fill ya full of lead
- What the fuck that young fella said?
- What kid?
- It's Vaughn the red blooded
- Do yourself a favor or come on, get head butted
- Dope him if he run
- I'll be there in a jiffy son
- With the flame suppressor like off the 151
- Quit your bitchin, or get *BLAUW* in your babble-box
- Punished with the dry sticks ? and now eat the scrabble box ?
- You'll be aight once it pass through your yellow belly
- Only thing he said was can you please pass the jelly
- Homo say what? Like a promo play the cut
- On the late night, before you touch the mic, get your weight right
- A lot of crews like to act like a violent mob
- They really need to just shut the fuck up like Silent Bob
- Either that or get smoked like hickory
- Should squash the beef and go wash their teeth quickly
- Know the stee ?, write a rhyme like a mystery
- And sign it on the bottom in calligraphy, "Your nigga, V"
- he used to get straight A's
- nowadays get way payed is the pet phrase
- set the stage, preferably night time
- daylight reserved for research and writin' rhymes
- things is harder than the tarnish on the garnish
- and his gold seems to ?, gosh darn-it we, we hold heat
- goin' all out to the fullest, all dipped
- chrome four-fiddith, no bullets no clip
- black electric tape over the hole in the handle
- if you hold it right and hit 'em with it they can't tell
- but still, you gotta be careful
- dudes be so scared they cop pleas by the earfull
- v personally favors, "please dont kill me"
- empty out your pockets and I probably wont willy
- but if you don't hurry up and shut up, I'll kill ya
- so lay down and count to a hundred loud will ya?
- when the nickle gleam like its greased up
- thugs turn to icicles, hard rocks freeze up
- this could all be a distraction just to buy time to blast you
- so keep something to cut in case you has to
- if he was on the island he'd probably rob a millionaire
- and be known for wilin' out like Bob Dylan here
- these clever war tips
- you wont get from cats who never wore skips
- now lets get down to brass tacks
- follow procedure and count stacks like nasdaq
- dont be caught snoozin
- in the early morning hours from a long night of boozing
- stick 'em up chump, you know what this is
- do the right thing you might live to see your kids
- all he said was "c'mon don't shoot!"
- so shook I think he shit his sean jean suit
- why you starin'? run your chain like an errand
- and your girls earrings, and what you wearin'
- survival tactics for when things get too gritty
- he feels its his duty to the people of the city
- just so long as nobody get hurt
- it keep your average citizen on point and alert
- and don't forget to check her d-cup
- now I bust how he got this duck for his re-up
- then he's back on the bricks, smokin indo'
- never let a handy fiend fix your broken window
- oh, who wanna hate the witty lurker
- who follow y'all on the late, dressed like a city worker
- ok miss, come up off that bracelet
- just got your hair did don't make me waste it
- so, go to hades get the devil for his stash
- but no old ladies unless you're sure they carry mad cash
- like the one from the liquor store
- he watched her for weeks now, ready for the quick score
- before he told her whore get on the floor
- she pulled out and let off like quick draw mcgraw
- damn yo, he lucky, she barely nicked the camo
- he would've let her have it, if he had the ammo
- its all in good fun, true
- moral of the story son duke
- senior citizens'll bust their guns too
- It last longer if take a picture
- It Viktor the slickster
- I pick her
- Sips Schlitz malt liquor
- Still up in the mixture like a fixture
- Y'all seen the sticker with the sick fillin
- Vik sta
- He stacks chips by any rich way
- And keep black lips fuck what any bitch say
- It ain't no time for no tip or tatt
- Y'all better aim for the head
- Just don't hit the fitted hat
- Wondered since time ago it's just time to go
- As for right now though
- The hour show rhyme flow
- He got more of those and lines for dime hoes
- And act fancy
- Wit more clothes than Delaney
- Don't let him house you out on Houston
- Or catch you downtown on Broadway browsing
- Whoever got the most bags get followed
- Give it up or get you in the old hag hollow
- Smash
- It Viktor the slicksta
- It's like limbo
- how low can you go
- Vee go lower than your bimbo panty hose
- Damn yo
- I say that's pretty damn low
- In the city streets with more ammo than Rambo
- Hambo
- Y'all don't want Vee in it
- Make the coolest cat piss his Coogi in a minute
- When he blow and get ballin at the top slot
- Twenty G's a head for whoever's calling cop shot
- Kack, kack, kack, kack, kack
- Popsnot
- Tender headed
- Get they wig split wit folk sheen
- V manufacture gun cleaning kits for poe dean
- Party people ask him how you so mean and still quiet could it be the codine in your diet
- I'm like what I look like a doctor
- Let the pork stop I got the clear meat the vodka
- Cork tops step up to hustle like the new guy
- Gun busting and drugs the penalties to high
- Make you wonder who they speak for it's only one side benefiting off the street war
- And he skeet galore just to make ya badder
- Many gone stab they own man up like Jacob ladder
- I still worry when I'm out on the hop hot
- Realer ill flurry that might pop ya knot
- I feel that Bill Murray get more run then the whop got
- Shop for a yacht
- Klackup
- Popsnot
- Study your history -
- Whoever don't? I pity-the-fool like Mr. T
- Knowledge this degree, it ain't no mystery
- And that's more than meets the eyeball
- Now who wants to buy a brand new tsetse fly call?
- Alright y'all (zooom), the speed was break-neck
- Faster than the hi-speed, dual cassette tape deck
- (How far?) The distance was light-speed
- He went to see a buddy who said he had some white weed
- In case it might need, it didn't mean much
- For in his lean clutch was the elusive green Dutch
- Who that? Kinga, Vaughn's younger brother
- A real live swinger who rock Louis Vuitton pleather
- And he walk around like he think he king
- Even made the hood-rats stop to kiss his pinky ring
- Like a soup sandwich on a hand dish
- Some say his language is way too outlandish
- He did his thing, spoke in a jig slang
- And translate Einstein's theory of the Big Bang
- He told his boo: "Boo, I put a spell on you
- Stay with me, whether we broke or we well-to-do
- If it don't work, the hell with ‘cha
- May the doorknob hit ‘cha where the poor slob bit ‘cha"
- What you thought ya' darn skeezer?
- The G of a mack and the steez of a geezer
- True man of leisure, she must've caught amnesia
- Paid off the 8th grade fade or a Caesar
- He was known for his thick skin
- Part Zimbabwean and part Trini mixed in
- Big shot, sold a guy a pound of pig snot
- Said it was proven to remove stains and ink spots
- Kinky flow, dripped down her leg to her pinky toe
- Jiggy hoe, who don't know as much as she think she know
- One week she stepped to him like a Slinky, yo'
- Wig like a mink skin, soft like Twinkie dough
- Then she kissed the queen, and told her she need Listerine
- Twist the green, it's laced with antihistamine
- Enough to make you make your face like Mr. Bean
- V hit the scene like: "Fuck it, give me a Mr. Clean"
- Shit, tired of all this ...
- It's too hot out here, to be having all this shit, man
- Shit, take it off ...
- Take it all off, boss ...
- No matter what the cost
- Party people know the name, Vik with a "k"
- if its all the same, if it ain't dont bother
- told the little monster, "No I ain't yo' father
- it's Uncle Viktor, shut the lights I'm gettin' dizzy
- and close the door, can you see ya momma busy?"
- What a scoundrel!
- gassed up the town fool to go rob the crown jewel
- he's like a lego megalomaniac
- who's into electronic and techno, a real brainiac
- smack-dab in the hip hop gold rush
- V, rather the old stuff
- preferably the Cold Crush
- it gets deeper than Deepak Chopra
- except he keep a stack and some cheap ass vodka
- knee-cap poppa, only when he miss the chewy center
- at least he always hits who he meant ta
- remember he got a short fuse and bad temper
- and a plan to claim emperor by December
- member of the most player-hated race
- who made this invaded place and stated with a straight face
- if I cut her off I might miss her
- and one of these days, right in the kisser
- she probably get mad at me, I bet ya
- it gets her nowhere like flattery
- she said, "Where were you last Saturday?
- and don't lie, we got your fingerprints off the battery"
- don't make me have to bling you
- or see you in the street and doubleteam you with the emu
- he told her, "When the ?gem paper tear off?
- it'll probably tear her ear off before y'all even square off"
- no good good-for-nothin
- kill her high for no frill like 'Good Will Huntin'
- he feels out a place like bizarro
- fiesty chick, comes all out her face like Charro
- it's Vaughn, he's back on
- and you know he don't care like Jimmy Crackcorn
- wax off, wax on
- tried to raise taxes on cracks and black porn
- another year passes
- gone are the days when he used to wear glasses
- now he wear contacts, unfrozen caveman look over the contracts
- these crews is too soft
- he came to tear the roof off to get paid to goof off
- they don't really wanna battle
- all they gon' do is get mad and go tattle
- tell 'em a retard said it
- he ripped up the weak heart, sighed and jetted
- you gotta give us three card credit
- even though at times he can be hard-headed
- yeah, the main thing, creams by all means and harebrained schemes
- the lord's performance was flawless
- he rocked with a crown and a Bobby Brown cordless
- the broad he was with was gorgeous
- the only flaw he saw was she cause a nigga more stress
- not trying to diss her
- but I used to know this sister that could put a whole fist in her
- Hell, I made it momma
- grammy for the world's most celebrated rhymer
- dead the drama, ?scama?, 4 G's of pizzy from Bahama
- V, the lead brown man
- and never count your chickens before you read SoundScan
- what about mom and pops?
- they might as well cooperate and wait 'til the bomb drop
- get more cabbage, often time he wonder how they get so savage
- V, not your average, often time he wonder how they got so savage
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