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Absolutely Free
by Frank Zappa
ALBUM RANKINGS:
Ratings and rankings are based on all available critic reviews and awards.
Overall Rating:
3.1755
Avg. Critic Score:
3.2933
Absolutely Free Lyrics
Lyrics
Disc
Track
Title
- Ladies & Gentelmen . . . the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES!
- Fella Americans . . .
- DOOT, DOOT, DOOT . . . DOOT . . .
- He's been sick.
- DOO-OO-OOT . . . DOOT! DOOT!
- (Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet-Teet)
- And I think his wife is gonna bring him some chicken soup.
- DOOT, DOOT (Teet-Teet)
- Plastic people
- Oh baby, now . . .
- You're such a drag
- (I know it's hard to defend an unpopular policy every once in a while . . . )
- Plastic people
- Oh baby, now
- You're such a drag
- (And there's this guy from the CIA and he's creeping around Laurel Canyon . . . )
- A fine little girl
- She waits for me
- She's as plastic
- As she can be
- She paints her face
- With plastic goo
- And wrecks her hair
- With some shampoo
- Plastic people
- Oh baby, now
- You're such a drag
- (I dunno . . . sometimes I just get tired of ya, honey . . . it's - Ah - your hair spray . . . or something.)
- Plastic people
- Oh baby!
- You're such a drag
- (I hear the sound of marching feet . . . down Sunset Blvd. to Crescent Heights, and there, at Pandora's Box, we are confronted with . . . a vast quantity of PLASTIC PEOPLE.)
- Take a day
- And walk around
- Watch the nazis
- Run your town
- Then go home
- And check yourself
- You think we're singing
- 'Bout someone else . . . but you're
- Plastic people!
- (Woooooooooooooooooooh!)
- Oh baby, now . . .
- You're such a drag
- Ooo-Ooo-Ooo Ooo-Ooo-Ooo Ooo-Ooo-Ooo Ooooooooh!
- Me see a neon
- Moon above
- I searched for years
- I found no love
- I'm sure that love
- Will never be
- A product of
- Plasticity
- A product of
- Plasticity
- A product of
- Plasticity:
- FZ:
- PLASTIC! PLASTIC PEOPLE!
- PLA-HA-HA-HA-HA . . .
- PLASTIC . . . PEOPLE
- PLASTIC PEOPLE . . . OO-OOOH OO-OOH . . .
- PLASTIC . . .
- A prune is a vegetable . . . no, a prune is not a vegetable. Cabbage is a vegetable . . . makes it O.K. PLASTIC PEOPLE . . . PLASTIC PEOPLE, PLASTIC PEOPLE!
- Ooo-Hoo-Hoo . . . Ooo-ooh-ooh-ooh Hoo-Hoo
- Ooh-ooh Ooh-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo
- Ray:
- You are. Your foot. Your hair. Your nose. Your arms. You eat. Youc suck. You love. You are. Your being is . . . you're PLASTIC . . . PEOPLE . . . BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH . . . plastic pepples . . . [...]
- You drive. You live in. You dream about . . . you think only of . . . you eat . . . you are . . . pepples . . . plastic . . . plastic pepples . . .
- Purple prancing. Plastic people. Every pepples . . .
- Peep-peep Pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-peep!
- A moonbeam through the prune
- In June
- Reveals your chest
- I see your lovely beans
- And in that magic go-kart
- I bite your neck
- The cheese I have for you
- My dear
- Is real
- And very new!
- A moonbeam through the prune
- In June
- Reveals your chest
- I see your lovely beans
- And in that magic go-kart
- I bite your neck
- The love I have for you
- My dear
- Is real
- And very new!
- Doh-Doh-Doh Doh-Doh
- Prune!
- (Pah-Da-Dahhh!)
- If it is a real prune...
- (Pah-Da-Dahhh!)
- Knows no cheese!
- (Chunka Chunk . . .
- Chunka Chunka Chunka Chunka Chunk . . . )
- And stands . . .
- (Oh No-o-o-o!)
- Taller & stronger
- Than any tree
- Or bush!
- And I know
- The love I have for you
- Will grow & grow & grow
- I think
- And so my love
- I offer you
- A love that is strong
- A prune that is true!
- LA LA LALA LA LA LALALA LAH LAH LAH LA LA
- LA LA LA LA OOOOOOOOH!
- (Chunka Chunka Chunka . . . )
- LA LA LA LALA . . .
- My darling . . . you mean so very much to me . . . I love
- you so deeply! It just makes me . . .
- LA LA LA LA LA LA etc.
- (Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Prunes, Prunes)
- I hardly recognize you, darling . . . Oh, I'll never forget you, darling. . .
- (Prunes, Duke of Prunes, Prunes, Prunes)
- Oh I suppose I will forget you eventually . . . In fact, I've already forgotten you . . .
- (Duke of Prunes, Prunes, Prunes)
- What is your name? Nice to see you again.
- [includes a quote from Baby Love (Holland/Dozier/Holland)]
- And you'll be my Douchess
- My Douchess of Prunes
- A moonbeam through the prune
- In June
- Reveals your chest
- I see your lovely beans
- And in that magic go-kart
- I bite your neck
- The cheese I have for you
- My dear
- Is real
- And very new!
- (New cheese!)
- Prunes!
- (Pah-Da-Dahhh!)
- If they are fresh prunes . . .
- (Pah-Da-Dahhh!)
- Know no cheese!
- (Chunka Chunka Chinky Chunky Stinky Stanky . . . )
- And they just lie there
- Drowning & sickening
- And it's just . . . I dunno
- Oh-h-h-h-h!
- And I know
- I think
- The love I have for you
- Will never end
- Well . . . maybe
- (Whah!)
- And so my love
- I offer you
- A love that is strong
- A prune that is true!
- (Ha Ha!)
- This is the exciting part . . .
- It's like the SUPREMES...
- See the way it builds up
- BABY BABY
- D'ya feel it?
- BABY BABY
- My prune is yours, my love
- My cheese for you
- My baby prune
- My baby prune
- I do like you
- My baby cheese etc., etc.
- You know I do
- My dear
- I love you etc., etc.
- Oh cheesy fat
- Oh cheesy fat
- Oh cheesy fat
- Oh baby fat
- Oh cheesy fat
- Oh baby blue
- Cheesy, cheesy!
- (This is a song about vegetables . . . they keep you regular; they're real good for ya.)
- Call any vegetable
- (Call any vegetable)
- Call it by name
- (Call any vegetable)
- Call one today
- (Call any vegetable)
- When you get off the train
- (Call any vegetable)
- Call any vegetable
- And the chances are good
- Ooooh! The vegetable
- Will respond to you
- (Some people don't go for prunes . . . I dunno . . . I've always found that if they . . . )
- Call any vegetable
- (Call any vegetable)
- Pick up your phone
- (Call any vegetable)
- Think of a vegetable
- (Call any vegetable)
- Lonely at home
- (Call any vegetable)
- Call any vegetable
- And the chances are good
- That a vegetable will respond to you-hoooo
- RUTA-BAY-AY-AYGA RUTA-BAY-AY-AYGA
- RUTA-BAY-AY-AYGA RUTA-BAY-AY-AYGA
- RUTA-BAYYYYY . . .
- (A prune isn't really a vegetable. Cabbage is a vegetable.)
- No one will know
- If you don't want to let 'em know
- No one will know
- 'Less it's you that might tell 'em so
- Call and they'll come to you
- Covered with dew
- Vegetables dream
- Of responding to you
- Standing there
- Shiny & proud by your side
- Holding your hand
- While the neighbors decide
- Why is a vegetable
- Something to hide?
- YAR-R-R-R-R-G-H!
- [includes quotes from God Bless America (Irving Berlin), America The Beautiful (Ward/Bates), Marine's Hymn (trad.) and A Soldier's Tale (Stravinsky)]
- A lot of people don't bother about their friends in the VEGETABLE KINGDOM. They think, "Ah, what can I say? What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?" But the answer is simple, my friends . . . just call . . . and tell them how you feel . . . about MUFFINS, PUMPKINS, WAX PAPER, CALEDONIA, MAHOGANIES, ELBOWS AND GREEN THINGS IN GENERAL . . . and soon: A NEW RAPPORT! You and your new little green & yellow buddies . . . grooving together! OH NO! Maintaining your coolness together! Worshipping together in the church of your choice! ONLY IN AMERICA! Woh-oh-oh-ah-agh-h . . .
- Call any vegetable
- Call it by name
- You gotta call one today
- When you get off the train
- Call any vegetable
- And the chances are good
- AR-R-H-R that the vegetable
- Will respond to you...
- OH NO! Can you see them responding?
- The PUMPKIN is breathing hard:
- HUFFA PUFFA HUFFA PUFFA etc.
- what a pumpkin . . .
- There's a big dilemma
- 'Bout my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
- There's a big dilemma
- 'Bout my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
- She used to knock me out
- Until her face broke out
- There's a big dilemma
- 'Bout my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
- There's a big dilemma
- 'Bout my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
- She was my steady date
- Until she put on weight
- etc.
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- You got me pulled up tight
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- You got me beggin' on my knees
- You got me beggin' on my knees
- You got me beggin' on my knees
- Say-in' baby please
- Come back to me
- You're tryin' to wreck my life
- I know you're tryin' to wreck my life
- I know you're tryin' to wreck my life
- And all I wanted was a wife
- I know you're tryin' to wreck my life
- Now what you tryin' to do?
- Now what you tryin' to do?
- Now what you tryin' to do?
- I been true to you
- Now what you tryin' to do?
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- You got me pulled up tight
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- (But baby, I think I love you
- But baby, I think I love you
- Baby!)
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- I wanna boogie all night
- Why don'tcha do me right?
- [includes quotes from My Little Red Book (Bacharach/David), Entry Of The Gladiators (Julius Fucik) and more unidentified stuff]
- 1-2-Buckle my shoe . . .
- Da-Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doo-da-Doop
- Da-Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop Doop
- Da-Doopy Doopy Doopy Doopy Diddly Doopy etc.
- Oh no! Oh no-o-o!
- I tried to find
- How my heart
- Could be so blind, (wanna buy some pencils?) Dear
- How could I be fooled
- Just like the rest
- You came on strong
- With your fast car
- And your class ring
- Sad eyes & your bran flakes
- I fell for the whole thing
- I don't regret
- Having met
- Up with a girl who breaks
- Hearts like they were
- Nothing at all (here's one for mother!)
- I've done it too
- Now I know
- Just what it feels like . . .
- [includes a quote from Petrushka (Stravinsky)]
- Ooo-Ooo-Ooo etc., etc.,
- AH-AH WA WA WA WA WA WA WAH!
- I'm losin' status at the high school
- I used to think that it was my school . . .
- BOW WOW WOW WOW!
- I was the king of every school activity
- But that's no more . . . oh mama!
- What will come of me?
- The other night we painted posters
- They played some records by the Coasters
- BOW WOW WOW WOW!
- A bunch of pom-pom girls looked down their nose at me.
- They had painted tons of posters; I had painted three.
- I hear the secret whispers everywhere I go
- My school spirit is at an all-time low . . . BLA-A-A-A!
- I'm losing status at the high school
- I used to think that it was my school . . .
- BOW WOW WOW WOW!
- Everyone in town knows I'm a hand-some football star
- I sing & dance & spray my hair & drive a shiny car
- I'm friendly & I'm charming . . . I belong to De Molay
- I'm gonna try like mad to get my status back today!
- Status back baby
- Status back baby
- Status back baby
- Status back baby
- [includes a quote from White Christmas (Berlin)]
- I'm dreaming . . . (Oh no-o-o!)
- There's a bomb to blow yo mommy up
- A bomb for your daddy too (ouch.)
- A baby doll that burps & pees
- A case of airplane glue
- A hungry plastic troll
- To scarf yo buddy's arm
- A box of ugly plastic things marked:
- Uncle Bernie's Farm!
- There's a little plastic congress
- There's a nation you can buy (I'll take two.)
- There's a doll that looks like mommy
- She'll do anything but cry (I seen her.)
- There's a doll that looks like daddy
- He's a funny little man
- Push a button & ask for money
- There's a dollar in his hand (check his wallet.)
- We gotta send Santa Claus back to the Rescue Mission
- Christmas don't make it no more
- Don't you know that murder & destruction
- Scream the toys in every store (think this'll sell in New York?)
- There's a man who runs the country
- There's a man who tried to think
- And they're all made out of plastic
- When they melt they start to stink
- There's a book with smiling children
- Nearly dead with Christmas joys!
- And smiling in his office
- Is the creep who makes the toys . . .
- FZ: We got this car: when it hits the wall you see the guy dying . . . got the little plastic puddles of blood . . . by the car
- I'M DREAMING . . .
- Ray: He has intestines . . . he has plastic intestines you can
- stuff back into his stomach . . .
- FZ: There's this other thing, I've got bombs. I've got rockets, I've got a . . . I've got a stilson wrench & plastic brass knuckles . . .
- Ray: And it comes with a tape recorder with sound effects . . .
- FZ: We got a '39 Chevy . . .
- [reminiscent of Louie Louie (Richard Berry)]
- Suzy Creamcheese
- Oh mama, now . . .
- What's got into ya?
- Suzy you were such a sweetie
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Once you were my one & only
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Blew your mind on too much Kool-Aid
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Took my stash & left me lonely
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Suzy Creamcheese
- Oh baby, now . . .
- What's got into ya?
- Yea-yea-yea-yea-yeah!
- Suzy Creamcheese
- Oh mama, now . . .
- What's got into ya?
- Got to find my Suzy Creamcheese
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Think I'll go and start my car
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Really dig her; she's so freaky
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Heard The Heat knows where you are
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Suzy Creamcheese
- Oh baby, now . . .
- What's got into ya?
- Yea-yea-yea-yea-yeah!
- Suzy Creamcheese
- Oh mama, now...
- What's got into ya?
- Cruised the Strip & went to Canter's
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Suzy creamcheese, please come home
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Vito says she split for Berkeley
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Protest marching Styrofoam
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Suzy Creamcheese
- Oh baby, now . . .
- What's got into ya?
- Yea-yea-yea-yea-yeah!
- Suzy Creamcheese
- Oh mama, now . . .
- What's got into ya?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Brown shoes don't make it
- Brown Shoes don't make it
- Quit school, why fake it
- Brown shoes don't make it
- TV dinner by the pool
- Watch your brother grow a beard
- Got another year of school
- You're okay, he's too weird
- Be a plummer
- He's a bummer
- He's a bummer every summer
- Be a loyal plastic robot
- For a world that doesn't care
- That's right
- Smile at every ugly
- Shine on your shoes and cut your hair
- Be a jerk-go to work
- Be a jerk-go to work
- Be a jerk-go to work
- Be a jerk-go to work
- Do your job, and do it right
- Life's a ball
- TV tonight
- Do you love it
- Do you hate it
- There it is
- The way you made it
- A world of secret hungers
- Perverting the men who make your laws
- Every desire is hidden away
- In a drawer in a desk by a Naugahyde chair
- On a rug where they walk and drool
- Past the girls in the office
- We see in the back
- Of the City Hall mind
- The dream of a girl about thirteen
- Off with her clothes and into a bed
- Where she tickles his fancy
- All night long
- His wile's attending an orchid show
- She squealed for a week to get him to go
- But back in the bed his teen-age queen
- Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene
- Baby, baby. ..
- Baby, baby. . .
- Cimmie then cakes, uh!
- If I do I'm gonna lose my...
- And he loves it, he loves it
- It curls up his toes
- She wipes his fat neck
- And it lights up his nose
- But he cannot be fooled
- Old City Hall Fred
- She's nasty, she's nasty
- She digs it in bed
- That's right
- Do it again, ha
- And do it some more
- Hey, that does it, by golly
- And she's nasty for sure
- Nasty nasty nasty
- Nasty nasty nasty
- Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty
- She's a dirty young mind, corrupted
- Corroded
- Well she's thirteen today
- And I hear she gets loaded
- If she were my daughter, I'd...
- What would you do, Frankie?
- If she were my daughter, I'd ...
- What would you do, Frankie?
- Check this out
- Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
- And strap her on again, oh baby
- Smother that girl in chocolate syrup
- And strap her on again, oh baby
- She's my teen-age baby
- She turns me on
- I'd like to make her do a nasty
- On the White House lawn
- Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
- And boogie 'till the cows come home
- Time to go home
- Madge is on the phone
- Got to meet the Gurney's and a dozen gray attorneys
- TV dinner by the pool
- I'm so glad I finished school
- Life is such a ball
- I run the world from City Hall
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